A year ago today on July 3, 2020, Tom Riley — friend, father, husband, brother, son, cousin — was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer. And on June 5, 2021, Tom Riley — guitarist, writer, poet, podcaster, cancer advocate, observer of humanity, orator, beloved — passed away. He was 54.

Why is it so hard to sit in the middle place? And what happens when it goes away and we find ourselves longing for it?

Memory can be complicated, especially when you have a terminal diagnosis. Tom revisits the day of his diagnosis, only this time from the viewpoint of his 26-year-old daughter.

What does it feel like to discover you have stage 4 pancreatic cancer? And how do you tell others? Tom walks us through the day he received a terminal diagnosis and, additionally, the moment he had to say the words, “I have pancreatic cancer,” to his family.

Tom Riley is living with stage 4 pancreatic cancer. But that's not going to stop him from creating a podcast exploring life, death, dealing with fear, coping with loss, and more. In this introduction to Tom, we learn about where he’s at health-wise: what his cancer levels are like, what he’s eating (or not eating) lately, and most importantly: how he’s feeling.